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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Frustrated

Well, I can't skip this, I know
I have to face it one day
Was thinking and struggling for so long, blog it or not?
I don't like to blog about these thingy but I have no choice, I don't know how to talk to you guys anymore
so I choose to make it clear now
I just hope that we won't have any hard feeling about this anymore :(

YES or NO?
It's no longer an answer, it's an option
This is the hardest thing for me
It was like.. ... "come Daphne!! choose now!! chop off your right hand or your left hand?"
Now you know how hard is it?

I admit that I skipped, I ran away
I blocked you and you in msn, sometime I unblocked two of you and I rather not to online
I just can't take it
I don't have the courage to speak out the YES or NO :(

You said I dumped you
Oh please, you're the only one who don't know how much I care for you
ya, it's true. I gave up on our friendship
but did you know why? did you REALLY know?
All the way from the first day that the INCIDENT happened
you never believe on me, never
YOU, yourself know what you've done, I don't wanna mention
you thought you're the only one who always get hurt, who always getting sad?
you said best friend is all about trusting each other
tell me, DID YOU TRUST ON ME?
I never suspect on you no matter what you did, behind me or infront of me
I keep telling myself "she is not that kind of person, trust her, trust our friendship"
even tho there is so many evidences
hey girl, am not an idiot.
but why I kept quite and treated you with my whole heart? because I TRUST YOU
until that day I revealed the truth, I just know I cannot lie to myself anymore, please accept it.
I was like a person who choked my own eyes with my own hands
I see through it but I chose to ignore and trust on you, how silly
I cried and cried. I cried in the car, cried on my bed until I fell asleep, cried when I log in my facebook
Dear, you know what? I understand why you're putting a wall between us to protect yourself, I really do!!
But you can't deny that I treat you with my whole heart and you cannot say that all the things I did for you is fake.
It's hurtful, it made me gave up on our friendship, it made me choose to lie
What can I do? I cannot let you know I knew that
You told the girl who was willing to give up the men she loves for you that 
"I wish I don't know you at the 1st place"
She'd done everything to make you feel secure, as in she flirt around until all the people thought she is a bitch

I never meant to hurt or ruin anyone
but you all ruin me, well done girls :)
if you all really care about my feeling, you and you won't did those thing to me
if you all really sayang me so much, you and you won't interrogated me like I am a criminal

who is your true friends, feel it but not using your eyes to see ONLY
sometimes, what you see and what you heard aren't true
this is the lesson that I learned from this case
I have no one to talk to, how sad :(
It's hurt when you loose all your close friends, so I chose to cover all the things
To YOU, remember, the people around you will treat you like how you treat them
when you're saying people take you for granted, think nicely, are you taking people for granted TOO?
To YOU, I shut up and I leaved. You should know what I mean, 
I hope I did something right this time, in a way.

有时候,你被人误解,你不想争辩,所以选择沈默。

本来就不是所有的人都得了解你,因此你认为不必对全世界喊话。
却也有时候,你被最爱的人误解,你难过到不想争辩,也只有选择沈默。


全世界都可以不懂你,但他应该懂,若他竟然不能懂,还有什么话可说?


那么,不想说话,就不说吧,在多说无益的时候,也许沈默就是最好的解释

Could you guys do me a favor?
End this, end everything
This is just a small part in your life, no point to ruin people's life just because of this
YOU told me, everyone deserve a second chance but actually you are not giving people any chance
I kept quite does not mean that I wanna cover the lies or whatever,
I kept quite is because I wanna give them a SECOND CHANCE

做到今天这种地步,所有人都把我们定罪了,认为我们还有second chance吗?
别人对我们不仁,我们没必要对他们不义
为自己,为别人留一条后路


I'm enough with all of this
hope YOU could understand why am doing this :) will you? 

I trusted the wrong person and I am sorry for all these
I love YOU and YOU, take care :)
I never blame on anyone

因为思虑过多,所以常会把自己的人生复杂化了。
明明是活在现在,却总是念念不忘着过去,又忧心忡忡着未来;

坚持携带着过去、未来与现在同行,你的人 生当然只有一片拖泥带水。

而单纯是一种恩宠状态。单纯地
以皮肤感受天气的变化,单纯地以鼻腔品尝雨后的青草香,
单纯地以眼睛统摄远山近景如一幅画。

单纯地活在当下。而当下其实无所谓是非真假。

I can be recovered very fast does not mean that I have no feeling and I did not get hurt,
just I only remember the good things and I trow the bad things aside.
This is me, if you think you can not agree with what I've said.
just leave me alone then, not a big matter :)

*tik tok at 12*

Daphne'C