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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Nothing else, Just DAMN IT

All the feeling is coming back

What to do?

I cannot control it

It makes me down again

Can I cry?

Those sad memories is just keep appearing in my mind

How they told me how much they love me, all is fake

how they dumped me

How I get through all of this when I found out there were not only me and him involved in the relationship

And I am the one who always need to hide, need to act, need to wait

My Fb status never put "in a relationship with XXX"

Why?? I can't publish it because they not allow

I never suspect anyone of them until the truth revealed itself

funny right? stupid thou

Why I need to torture myself in that way?

Why I wanted a bf who was not allow me to tell people "XXX is my bf"?

Again and again, keep repeating the same thing, the same mistake

Damn it damn it damn it damn it

Aikssss

This is not what I want but I don't know how to avoid

I locked my heart for so long, for what?

Why? I just want a simple life, simple relationship

The thing keep repeating since I was together with my 4th ex-bf until now

What the hell!!

I've done anything wrong? so I deserve those shit thingy?

I don't understand!!!

I am always be faithful to them

But why I just cant get a "normal" relationship???

I don't think it's good to be too "understanding" sometime

Understanding does not mean I wont get hurt

I have so many things to express, But I don't know where to start and where to end

Those shit memories messing up my mind

I am so so so tired

Putting so many hopes, so many efforts on it

at last, what do i get?

I have nothing to blame, just myself

I always falling in love to the wrong one

I just can't bear with it anymore

So, Just jek la

I know I am not able to give up that easily



She express her feeling to me, He express his feeling to me

Then how about me?

Who should I express my feeling to?

Not only once, it's been so many times d

I am always in the middle then act like "non of my business"

Call me Queen of the actress LOL

it's ok...I don't like to make people feel bad for me too

So I just keep it for myself

Please...don't make me fall in love to you if you can't give me happiness

Ya, i can laugh in front of you even you tell me "i miss her, sorry"

But you cannot see through my heart

It's bleeding

My heart was injured and it never be cure

When only I can tell the world "XXX, I miss you"?


Who lack of money?

You give me your love, faithful to me, I give u money as much as I can, deal?

I don't know how to continue anymore!!

-hey,pls don't have any hard feeling after reading this, I am not blaming YOU, Just i really need a place to give vent to,

pls don't feel guilty, otherwise I wont express my feeling anymore, thx-